i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
