On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Still dying that you shit outside
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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