ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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