THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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