Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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