I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
