Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
