In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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