how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No more Irish car bombs ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
