Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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