new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
