is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
