I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
