it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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