we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
