Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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