In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He better not be in your backpack
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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