your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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