You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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