Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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