I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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