nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
