I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
