She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
