my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
