i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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