There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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