He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
