did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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