the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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