i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
