listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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