You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
