All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
