Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it penis luge time yet?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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