Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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