i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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