you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
