i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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