your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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