I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
