Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
