i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I want you more than these girls want KFC
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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