if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
