fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
