There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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