Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
