I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
