My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
