I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
