Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
