The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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