Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
this hospital has no fireball
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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