I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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