you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
