just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
