did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
