I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
