Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
