the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
