As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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