are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
