I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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