I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize