Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
